Just a Spoon Full of Sugar

How do you take your medicine? Do you disguise it in some more enticing way as Mary Poppins suggests with a spoonful of sugar? Do you try alternatives? Do you overindulge? Do you avoid it completely? I am starting chemo. I have to take the medicine. I don't like the alternative of not taking it. I started to think about the ways we take medicine when we really don't want it.

In the shower the morning of my first chemo treatment, I started to cry. I felt like I was starting some dreaded phase of treatment that would make me feel awful for a long time to come. Yes the outcome was supposed to rid me of the life threatening disease, but the thought of feeling nauseous and tired for four months was scary. The thought of losing my hair was both personal and public in the way that I view myself as a confident, healthy individual with a family, friends and a profession. This was fear. This was raw.

Then some words came to mind in the shower "give no quarter", louder "give no quarter", louder again until I said the words out loud "give no quarter". These simple words turned my attitude around in the shower and gave me a chance to smile. My husband is a teacher and track coach. One of his co-coaches gave me (through him) these words of advise. She was an NCAA All American Javelin thrower herself. My image of her is of a strong and competitive woman. And there she was yelling at me in the shower,"give no quarter", "give no quarter".

I came out of the shower and opened the bathroom door, I started shouting "give no quarter" to my husband and daughter. They were not sure what to make of it but soon joined in. My husband looked up the origins of the saying that morning and to paraphrase it means: to show no mercy to your opponent or to give up your own shelter or quarters. It was the perfect motivator for me in this moment. The cancer is not welcome in my home. I'll take the chemo to help get rid of the cancer.

It became our mantra for the morning. I guess the spoonful of sugar image of Mary Poppins works sometimes. Maybe it helps our children get ready for things that may come in adulthood. Or in my case it helped me to make the jump to a stronger image. For me today what worked to help me "make the medicine go down" was something a little more forceful. It was a strong, athletic, competitive woman standing in my shower screaming "give no quarter"!
I laughed and felt ready at the same time.